Many of us cope with pain by hiding how we really feel. There are many reasons for stuffing our feelings - fear of rejection or ridicule, not wanting to be vulnerable to another, fear of misunderstanding, a desire to avoid confrontation, etc. We tend to bury what hurts us, and the emotions go underground, but like a leak in a water pipe in the ground, they can do much damage. We can even become passive-aggressive toward our spouse.
A passive-agressive person seeks to control others by various means: speaking cryptically in order to create a feeling of insecurity in others; feigning helplessness to control another; chronically being late and forgetting things in order to exert control or to punish; avoidance of intimacy as a means to act out anger; sulking.
Many people spend years repressing their true feelings, then cannot discern why they are so angry or feel such hurt. They have no idea how to resolve the conflict, but it must be dealt with in order that the marriage be healthy. Instead of being a healer in the marriage, the person who has stuffed his or her feelings becomes a wounder.
Even though it seems easier to repress one's feelings, it is not the healthy, nor the right way to deal with pain. If you need help in dealing with repressed feelings, you may need a professional counselor. Consult your pastor to help you work through these issues or to refer you to a Christian counselor. It may be painful and it may be messy to work through the emotions, but your marriage will benefit greatly from it.
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