31 WAYS TO MESS UP YOUR MARRIAGE - #20 - FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND SEXUAL DIFFERENCES

Men and women are different. Talk about an understatement! Volumes have been written about the subject, but when it comes to the sex life of couples, so much hurt and misunderstanding takes place because of these differences. A short blog does not permit the space needed to fully discuss the subject of sex in marriage, but I'd like to mention a couple of pivotal issues that if adhered to would alleviate much of the tension in this area.

1. Marriage is the place to have the best sex--not before marriage, outside of marriage or in addition to marriage. Hollywood has done a number on us as far as what a good sexual relationship looks like. Very seldom do movies depict healthy robust sexual relationships within the marriage relationship. Sex outside of marriage does harm to both parties, but the most wounding occurs to the woman. Her need for emotional intimacy and security can only met within a healthy marital relationship. 
2. Servanthood is the biblical standard for the sexual relationship. (1 Cor. 7:1-5) Each mate must understand the sexual differences of the other and be willing to meet them. For a man, sex is a primary need. For most women, it is secondary at best. Once we are married, we cannot force or manipulate our spouses into meeting our sexual needs. We simply must accept the fact that we need each other to meet one another's needs and if we are ever going to experience ultimate sex, it will be in the context of servanthood.

 The top three areas of conflict in marriage are sex, finances and in-laws. We have covered all of these now in our blog. I would love to hear your comments as to which area has given you the most problems. All of us have experienced difficulty in each of these areas, and not resolving the conflict in these three areas leads to more divorce that anything else. But with the Lord, even the most sticky issue can be resolved. Would love to hear from some of you. Blessings!